Title: Voices Carry
Version: There's only one, dudes. Posted 2/27/06 (originally
posted to LiveJournal
3/15/05)
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine. (See full disclaimer on previous page.)
Summary: This is what happens to the Author when characters from
several
different fandoms are clamoring for
attention all at the same time.
A/N: This conversation took place during the writing of Lay Not Up. I sat down
at the computer, expecting the Blakes 7 characters to continue the
story onward from where we'd left off the day before. Instead, what I
got was this.
Voices Carry
by Mistral Amara and friends
Mistral: Okay, Blake, you were saying?
Blake: I wasn't. I was supposed to be thinking.
Avon: No wonder we're not getting anywhere.
Blake: That was uncalled for. Before I can think anything, the Author
has to think it, first.
Mistral: Sorry. It's a bit tough, when you're smarter than I am.
Avon: Wonderful. Our Author makes a third-grade Delta look clever.
Mistral: Hold your tongue. Except at computers, you're NOT smarter than
I am. Your thought processes are completely transparent.
Avon: <sulks>
Blake: Then it shouldn't be that hard, as I'm thinking about him.
Mistral: Oh, shut up.
Blake: Well, if I do, that won't get us anywhere, will it?
Vila: Look, if you lot are just going to argue, can I say something?
Blake, Avon, Mistral: No!!
Giles: Excuse me. Have you forgotten that you promised to help me
resurrect Anya?
Vila: Who're you?
Mistral: Different show.
Vila: Ah. Say, on your show, does the third male lead get alternately
ignored and abused?
Giles:
Well, that depends on who you consider the third male lead--oh, wait,
what am I saying? Of course he does. All the men are. It's a Girl Power
show.
Avon: How nice for them. Now, if you don't mind, we're busy.
Giles: She's my Author, too, and I've been stuck in the middle of a
resurrection ritual for a very long time.
Snape: Oh, quit snivelling. At least you've actually met your young
woman.
Giles: Severus? Oh, Merlin, what are you doing here?
Mistral: <groan>
Snape: Rupert. Actually, I've been promised true love. With a certain
red-headed witch of your acquaintance.
Giles: You and Willow? Joss save us.
Mistral: Here, now, no invoking false gods.
Giles:
But . . . but . . . you can't! Do you
know how dangerous a
Buffyverse/Potterverse crossover is? They're completely incompatible!
The differences in the magic systems alone would cause a meltdown in
suspension of disbelief of cosmic propor--
Mistral: I've already
dealt with that. Unfortunately, I can't do anything about any of your
problems until I deal with the situation at hand. And Blake and Avon
aren't cooperating.
Snape: Would you like me to cast a crucio on them for you? I'm
sure they'd be more cooperative afterwards.
Avon: You wouldn't dare.
Giles: Severus! That's one of the unforgivables!
Snape: You know my fans will forgive me anything.
Giles, Vila: Who do you think you are . . .
Giles: . . . Spike? /
Vila: . . . Avon?
Snape: <smirk>
Mistral:
That's all right, Severus, I think I can handle Blake and Avon. Now, if
the rest of you will just go back to your own stories and wait--
Jarriere: Excuse me, ma'am, but if it's nae too much trouble, I believe
ye promised me a ficathon?
Mistral: <headdesk>