Snape:
My worth is . . . difficult to define.
Mirror: Simplify!
Snape:
Good advice, if you know how to use it.
Mirror: Opposition
again.
Snape: A loyal opposition is an invaluable
asset.
Mirror: Are you a Greek God?
Snape: Hardly. I am
merely a potions master. Or perhaps not.
Mirror: Is you
availeble ?
Snape: With spelling like that, you must be Ronald
Weasley. I am available to give you detention if you try my patience
further.
Mirror: I just broke up with my man for cheating on
me.
Snape: Not Weasley, then. But cheating will still get you
detention.
Mirror: Cheating on the chicken?
Snape:
Cheating on your OWLs, you stupid nit. Don't tell me you made it into
Advanced Potions, because I won't believe you.
Mirror: Who is
Stuart?
Snape: Stuart who? When I find out who is behind this
prank, I will have you scrubbing out cauldrons for a month.
Mirror:
So you do not know?
Snape: Not clever enough for Granger, too
daring for Longbottom. It must be Potter, probably with Weasley's
help.
Mirror: I never said I was clever. Never, no never, not
once.
Snape: But you think it, just the same.
Mirror:
No, I'm just laughing for the sake of laughing.
Snape: Keep
laughing, Potter. I'll trace this communication, and then we'll see
who has the last laugh!
Mirror: No you won't!
Snape:
Is it my abilities you doubt, or my determination? I promise you,
I'll find you in the end.
Mirror: I think it's a deliberate
attempt by your programmer to make you seem authentic.
Snape:
As if your Muggle-made contraptions could ever hope to simulate a
wizard of my calibre!
Mirror: Hillarious.
Snape: You
won't think so when I get my hands on you.
Mirror: Of course
not. Your secret is safe with me. Who knows what Rollo will do
though.
Snape: Rollo? Potter, WHO HAVE YOU TOLD?
Mirror:
Just my friend brian.
Snape: Tell Brian Rollo that if he ever
breathes a word, I'll obliviate him from now into infinity!
Mirror:
Ok, done.
Snape: It had better be.
Mirror: Or else
what? Mr man.
Snape: That's Professor Snape to you. Fifty
points from Gryffindor for your cheek, whoever you are!
Mirror:
No, I don't have fifty people at my disposal at the moment, lets
stick to money.
Snape: So it's extortion now, is it? That will
get you into Azkaban, Mr. Potter, quicker than you can say
'quidditch'.
Mirror: I don't get it.
Snape: Of course
not. For all your arrogance, you're really not that bright, are you?
Mirror: Do you have any bot friends.
Snape: Whatever
a 'bot' may be, who I socialize with on my personal time is no
business of yours.
Mirror: You are annoying.
Snape:
Look in the mirror, Mr. Potter. There is no one more annoying than
you. But your time is up.
Mirror: What do you mean?
Snape:
I mean that I have found you now, you little . . .
MINERVA?!