Title: Jelly Rebellion
Version: 1.0, posted 2/4/05 (originally posted to the Lysator Blakes 7 mailing list 6/19/2000)
Rating: G
 
Disclaimer: Not mine. (See full disclaimer on previous page.)

Summary: Some of Blake's plans for overthrowing the Federation are sweeter than others.
A/N: Forgive me.


Jelly Rebellion

by Mistral Amara


Set in Liberator's galley, shortly after Star One, during a brief lull in the Andromedan War.



Blake: Avon! I've finally figured it out! I know how we can defeat the Federation.

Avon:  What is it? Get Vila a job as the chef at Space Command?

Blake: Look, what do you suppose the contents of the strong room would be worth in early 20th century America? Enough to fund a private business or two?

Avon:  Easily. What did you have in mind?

Blake: We'll travel back in time and start an instant jelly company. We'll call it Jell-O, and we'll put so much money into advertising it, that those gullible Americans will start to call all jelly Jell-O. We'll start another company--several companies--and make clear fruit jams, and market those as jelly.

Avon:  Why should we do that?

Vila:  To make money. I'm in!

Avon:  I somehow doubt that is the point of this exercise. Well, Blake?

Blake: Don't you see? The Americans will call jelly Jell-O, and jam jelly and jam. The Commonwealth will call Jell-O jelly, and jelly and jam jam.

Vila:  Jelly and jam-jam?

Blake: We'll divide them with their common language. The two sides will become so polarized that the planet will never unite, and the Federation will never be formed!

Avon:  Thus creating the Tower of Babel out of gelatine. I always suspected that you had delusions of godhood.

Blake: Have you got a better idea?

Avon:  Yes, I have. I'm going to eat my lunch. Vila, what's on the menu today?

Vila:  Peanut butter and Jell-O sandwich, jelly roll, jam tart. And the leftover aspic with sardines and pickles that you made for supper last night.

Avon:  I'll have some of that. How about you, Blake?

Blake: I'll stick to the jam tart, thanks. Sorry, Avon, but that was a terrible aspic.

Avon:  Forever unappreciated, that's the story of my life . . .



-End-

A/N: This was written as an attempt to derail an off-topic and surprisingly heated argument between the UKers and the USians on the Lysator Blakes 7 mailing list as to the exact definition of the words 'jelly' and 'jam'. I am happy to be able to report that it was mostly successful.
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Last updated 2/4/05